Birthday Hope

Psalm 27:13 "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord."

I've known OF despair. Defined, the word means: (noun) loss of hope; hopelessness, (verb) to lose, give up, or be without hope. Despair, a tool of the devil, is like a hammer to your heart. Pounding it, pulverizing it. Losing shape, the heart sinks, bringing with it a shoulder slump, a hanging head, hair in face, and shuffling feet--that is if you move at all. 

Do I have reason to despair? 

This coming week marks our son's birthday; his 33rd--if he were still present on this earth.  Of course, grief took its rightful place in my heart and mind. Yes, it is still there. I say for me, it is OK that I visit it on occassion, open the floodgates and truly feel the depth of how I miss my oldest son, Timothy. While I visit with grief, I have a restraining order against despair. 

 What are the charges against this criminal, this stalker?

 Robber of joy, murderer of spirit, embezzler of grace, cheater of will and purpose.

Slam the door, lock it,  and throw away the key. 

Can I get an Amen?  

Knowing the Chief of Eternal Security has its advantages. The Holy Spirit set up His comforting sentinel around my heart, and Hope never left. I believe in the goodness of the Lord and I see it every day, even through the bloodied gauze of grief. 

Lord, another September day comes and we celebrate the gift-memory of a son named Timothy Brian. Thank you Father for Your outstanding goodness to me, for filling me with understanding and a purpose to fulfill. I praise You, the lifter of my head,  until that day when earthly birthdays no longer matter but heavenly birthdays fill the sky with infinity candles set in the lampstands of Promise. 

"Light Switch"

John 12:36 "Believe in the light while you have the light, so that you may become children of light."

Did you receive some cool gifts this Christmas? I received two similar gifts from two different friends I really like.  In fact, I think sharing them with you today seems like a good idea!

Flameless candles. Turning upside down, move the switch to “on”, and the light begins giving a soft glow, flame-like, without the worry of wax melting down onto your tablecloth or forgetting to blow out the flame and leaving the house.

The first one I put in my front windowsill. After cleaning up Christmas decorations, packing it up just didn’t seem right. I enjoyed the ambience and mood it gave to my front room. It came from our friend Eileen who shares the same heartache, the loss of her adult son from an accident a few years back.

The second one arrived just this week, coming from my east coast best friend, Diane. Her unique, thoughtful gifts always display a love of vintage Americana or something hand- crafted. This year, a “burnt marshmallow” flameless candle arrived, which cleverly, once  switched on, remains on for 5 hours then switches off, only to automatically switch back on the next day.  That initial “switching-on” sets a timer for it to carry on its purpose.

One candle glows to remind me of everlasting life. Though two loved “flames” came to an early than ever hoped for end to earthly life, we continue to keep a hope burning in our hearts, knowing that one day, a reunion awaits us in a bright and beautiful eternity. 

The other candle reminds me of this life. Despite the world’s harshness and disappointment, God’s toasty-sweetness of promise fills me as I wait to take a “bite” everyday. Counting on His timing once I’ve pushed the switch in my heart to “on”, God always provides a way for me to see in my darkest hours. 

The reflection, magnificent, unique, beautiful and purposeful--gifts that keeps giving.

If I want the glow to continue, I must keep them energized, powered up. I will need supplies and effort to do that. That’s certainly not hard, for the directions are easily accessible and I am just blessed with friends who won't let me go "dim" for long!   

Lord, You came into this world to be our Light, to be THE Light of the world. I ask that the flame of your will for my life keeps burning with strength and a desire for obedience and willingness to be a light myself in whatever I do and say.  In Jesus name I pray, Amen.