Despair Detour

Psalm 27: 13-14 "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; yes, wait for the Lord."

This is one of my life verses.  I am especially grateful to be writing this tonight, in preparation for continued ministry and opportunities brought my way by the Lord's goodness to me.

~~~

I would have despaired...and I had every right to do just that! We lost our home of 24 years in one wind whipped crackle of electrified air and who knows what else. Uprooted and unprepared, the house lost its status as "our home," and went the way of a house-flipper and real estate broker, eager to pocket the gold dust while we continued to clean -up the soot for months to come.

I would have despaired...BUT GOD!

The Lord met me in the smoke, the rubble, the ash. He poured His love on me through the gaping holes in the roof,  a Refiner's Fire in the purest sense of the Words. Yes, there were some despairing days...but not a lingering despairing soul, not a despairing heart and attitude. Teachable moments and new perspectives,  sifting and sorting of truth at its deepest level, worship gushing out like a fire hydrant, quenching and dousing me in spirit-filled promises and new hopes...I believed!  I felt and knew the Goodness of the Lord.  A beautiful re-built house would no longer be our home, yet God had plans in the land of the living for me.

Wait, He says. Be strong, He says.

I would have despaired...drowned my self in my tears of grief, hid myself from healthy relationships, aligned myself with anger and let it take me down...BUT GOD!

He formed me anew, sturdy in His Word and re-roofed with a righteous belief that the land of the living in Christ includes Eternity! My oldest son no longer despaired in his pain and illness. Amazing Grace heals and is an answered prayer in the bigger-God picture of His will. I would have despaired if He did not give me a glimpse of this very thing, more than a glimpse really, a continual reflection seen in the world around me. Heaven is filled with His glory and to know that His purpose for me would be one of courage...

I would have despaired...but I am in awe!  

In awe of a God who gives and takes away, and I wait. I look through eyes wide open seeing all His goodness.  Despair hides your eyes, but belief and trust opens them up wide to view and walk in the Land of the Living...all the way to Heaven. Blessed Be His Name!

Lord Jesus, Thank you for allowing me the need to see Your goodness. Thank you for eyes that search the heavens and Heaven that comes to me through Your gift of the Holy Spirit. Thank you for healing and insight into your plan. Help me Lord to stay strong, to have courage to continue to do Your will in the path which You have sent me. Help me find compassion and words for others who despair in this despairing world, one in need of Your Hope. Thank you Lord for a ministry in the Land of the Living and may I continue in Your strength, each day within Your grace, for Your glory. Amen.

For your own journal: Where has God given you courage?

Grace's Song

Psalm 90:14-17

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ¹⁴ Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
      so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.
 ¹⁵ Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery!
      Replace the evil years with good.
 ¹⁶ Let us, your servants, see you work again;
      let our children see your glory.
 ¹⁷ And may the Lord our God show us his approval
      and make our efforts successful.
      Yes, make our efforts successful!

Five years ago, flu-ravaged and twisted up in a waiting room of ICU surrounded by True Believers, the vigil began. Minutes passed into hours and a sun rose and set several times, unaware. We waited, we visited, we prayed, we watched his breath rise with anticipation only to dwindle with despair. Grace's song opened the Heavens.

Surgeon came, took the challenge when no one would. But I knew already. Grace's song hummed the second chorus. 

Husband walked toward me, that long hallway, wretched in pain to shake his head and look to me in the eyes of my soul, trying to grab back the words...but Grace's Song rolled the stone.

The world turned dark and the earth shook and my heart and brain crashed together in a head-on collision. Fatal but not final. Grace's song swept up the debris. 

In these five years, Grace's Song surrounds me. Comfort, understanding, provision, fellowship, joy and purpose hold my thoughts and my emotions in place, capturing words of faith and love that wedge the stone away. 

Grace's song sings Resurrection. Grace's song sings Eternal Life. Grace's Song sings Hope.  

Grace's song never dies. 

Thank you Lord for every note of Grace's song and may the symphony You are conducting in my life be a sweet rhapsody of everlasting Love.