"...And I Remember You."

Philippians 1:3 "I thank God for all my remembrances of you."

The date my son,Timothy died and went to heaven is coming up next week, February 27th. It's been thirteen years. God is so good. He grants me glimpses of Heaven and the knowledge continually of His grace in many memories, moments and supernatural, amazing (never call them coincidences) events. The Holy Spirit speaks to my soul and encourages me: do not just trudge on, but move with purpose, find beauty in the ashes, gifts to make Me known in this life and share. I do this as I remember Tim and his life bringing great healing and a very special walk with the Lord. 

Of course, so like God, this week I received a few sweet moments that made me smile and think of Timmy. 

Tiana, Timmy's friend since kindergarten. 

On the first Mother's Day after his passing, I received a late night text from one of Tim's childhood school friends,Tiana-- just blessing me with sweet words of remembering me in my grief. I ended up writing a poem about that text and including it in my memoir.This week, she sent me a personal message, unknown to her, that the date of his death was only a few days away. The message along with a clip from a movie titled, "Almost Famous" --where the band and friends start to sing on the bus one by one, "Tiny Dancer," is included in the text.  There's a longer version of this story, but the fact that she sent me a message this week, brought a smile to my face, for her connection to Timmy and this song--a remembrance of Timmy very special for both of us. 

https://youtu.be/AwIQBgcYLrI   (Check out the clip here). 

Wedding Invitations from Kirk 

A beautiful wedding invitation came in the mail today, from Kirk and Valerie. Kirk, one of Tim's BFF's from junior high and high school holds a very special place in my heart. He has struggled in adulthood, and with the grace of God has persevered along with the love of family and friends. He knows I pray for him and God has granted us some good talks and transparent moments. Timmy, you will be with us at this covenant union. God is good. 

Snoopy, the Golfer. 

After Christmas, I sometimes shop on EBay to add to my Snoopy Christmas ornament collection. This year's (2019) ornament just happens to be a "Golfing Snoopy." You guessed it, it came today, and I'm going to leave it out on Tim's shelf for a bit. Tim loved to Golf. God is good. 

Monarch in the Making

Three weeks ago, I took a picture of a chrysalis in my butterfly memorial garden. I've been waiting for the butterfly's emergence.Today, the chrysalis is black and partly transparent. Although I do this on a regular basis, to have a chrysalis right now, and a butterfly ready to enter the world is special. I think it might happen tomorrow. I'll let you know. God is good. 

Psalms 77:12 says this: "I will meditate on all Thy work, and muse on Thy deeds." I am thinking of my son, but Oh, how I think even more on the magnificent, amazing gifts God grants me continually.  Even thirteen years later, He blesses me with continued hope and strength. I believe these messages from God the Spirit whisper to me, "You remember your son, and I, the Lord, remember you." God is good!  

Lord, You give us Eternity! How can I not praise You for this promise! Thank You for always remembering me in my grief moments, my remembering moments, my joyful moments, my (and there are many) human moments, my pondering and praying moments, and especially, my humble moments asking for forgiveness. You remember each one of us and love us all the same, yet, You minister and bless each of us individually, according to Your will and plan for us and do it abundantly!  God You are so Good. Help those that do know You Lord, to be humble, grateful and begin to make precious memories with You. Thank You for the 26 years I had with Tim and Thank You for every minute since he went to be with You, of Your remembrance of us all on the day You went to the Cross. Amen. 

Be My Miracle!

Psalm 77:13-14 (NIV) You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. 


Typing it into Google, "miracle definition," here is what it read: a surprising event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency." 

Here's another: an effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause. 2.such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God, a wonder or marvel. 

The world wants to use other words: coincidence, karma, "at the right place at the right time," like somehow "we" had anything to do with the phenomena. While maybe we pray for such things to occur, The Divine Creator has always had the script written and ready to manifest in our lives--His will waiting to be a testament of His glory and power. 

Yesterday, I went with my two close friends and one of their daughters to see the movie, "Miracles From Heaven." It is the true story of a little girl diagnosed with a chronic, potentially life-threatening illness in her intestines called Pseudo-Obstruction. It is a disease not many are familiar with, a disease with complicated medicines and treatments and life-changing, life altering adjustments. Without giving away the storyline, I do highly recommend this film because it explores human/family emotions authentically, dealing with such a chronic disease, faith, desperation, love, friendship and encouragement...hope. 

And then there is this...MIRACLE!

Having suffered through with a chronically sick child  myself, I could relate to many scenes within this movie, tearing up many times, reliving, remembering those same emotions. But what so filled my heart and my thinking while watching this movie, was someone else, a very close friend and another miracle.

My dear friend, diagnosed with this same terrible disease in her early twenties, is a medical wonder. Forty years now passed, her doctors tell her all the time, she is a miracle, the longest living person to have survived--and SURVIVE she does! Linda is a leader in church, a mentor and encourager to others and my writing partner. When I arrived home, the first thing I did was call her and tell her, in my grateful tears, how thankful I am for her, that she IS my miracle friend. Many people are now learning about this terrible malady because of this movie, hopefully, many will be reminded that God is STILL in the miracle business.  

After the movie, I went to the nursery to purchase a hydrangea, a bush I had been looking for, for a few weeks now. In the movie, one was featured and it reminded me and inspired me to go look one more time. I did find one, planting it today next to my white rose of remembrance, to remind me--to honor the miracles in my life and others. 

My son was not cured from his chronic illness. Linda does not have a cure, but ways to deal with and manage her disease. We learn to cope because we have THE Hope, the miracle of Easter, the Resurrection which opens up the sky for a relationship with God, the Miracle Inventor. 

Miracles from God are intimate, personal and supernatural. I believe I received three this past Valentine's Day, many of you I have shared this with. One friend I saw the movie with, burst into my living room, to share a miracle she received today; so random and yet so precise, "I Love you and I am working things out for you," --God, written all over this revelation. Praying earnestly for her son's frustration, dilemma and demeanor, he received a miracle answer, one he readily shared with her, knowing it came from above, a supernatural source, prompting him to a sincere thanksgiving spirit and drawing him closer, lifting his spirits. Thank you Lord!  

A co-worker couldn't wait to share this with me on the last day of school before break. She had injured her foot a few months back and was still wearing a protective sock around her bandages. She purchased some new socks and that morning had opened the packaging, with the socks inside. Her birthday looming in a few days, she was a little melancholy, as she is widowed and recently lost a close cousin. She put her sock on over her wrapped foot and felt something scratching her, something inside that shouldn't be there. Taking the sock back off and turning them inside out, "Happy Birthday" metallic confetti, several pieces, fell into her lap. She pulled it out of her pockets to show me when she got to school. How does a message of "Happy Birthday" show up in a sealed package of socks? God orchestrated a miracle for her to receive it on that day, at that hour. 

As a believer, God knew her heart and what she needed.  

Linda, though not cured, has survived to serve others and be my miracle friend, to love the Lord and encourage others to tell their story. She will be the first to tell you, her life has not been easy, but she will also tell you her life is a miracle because of God's strength. 

Butterflies come from the trees in my darkest days of grief to surround me and minister to me in such personal God-whispering-love ways that continue to fill me with hope. 

God is still in the miracle business. I could (and maybe should) write about all the miracles that happen just within my circle of faithful friends. Pray believing He has one for you too because He does! Stand at your doorway and look, and be prepared to receive it. Sometimes the miracle is just that, recognizing the Love He has for us and settling down to allow Him to make us into His miracles. Be still and Know that I Am God. Be Still and Be My Miracle!  

Thank you Lord for Miracles from Heaven, butterflies, friendships, socks with confetti, messages that make sense to only us but causes us to see You, for the miracle of Hope and Light in the depravity and hopelessness that surrounds us. Help us to be a miracle in the life of others, to bring your miraculous Love to view in a faith inexplicable by the world, but proven by the evidence Your Holy Spirit leaves in our daily walk with You. I am grateful for the miracles I see and feel everyday. I am grateful to be a miracle, forgiven and filled with hope. Amen.  

Enjoy Third Day, "I Need A Miracle"