A Patio of Sorrows Promises a Journey Home

Revelation 21:4 And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away. 

We're in the midst of it, yet we remain isolated, separated from it. My mother-in-law is 86 years old and suffers from dementia for many years now. Within her memory care facility, COVID19 infected a few staff and then several residents, my mother-in-law included. 

Transferred to the local community hospital, she received care and did not require a ventilator. No visitations are allowed--continuing the long months we have not physically seen her since this pandemic began. 

My dear friend's daughter is a nurse at this hospital, like an angel sent to keep an eye, a wing over her. We receive the reports every day, her condition, her confusion, her despair, her fear, her rebellion and defiance, her longing to go "home," the doctor calling my brother-in-law. Could that be her childhood home in the Netherlands? Could that be sixty years ago in Culver City when she first immigrated to America? Now she is silent and refusing to eat. 

Home is where one feels safe, protected, surrounded by loved ones. 

Happy. 

She returns home, but it is back to the memory care facility, to a special ward they have set up for "returning" COVID19 patients, for now. It is not the HOME we long for, the place where beauty displays beyond our imaginations, where perfection and all its Glory outshines the sun, where all things are aligned and make sense and we see the purpose in everything, where Jesus and His Grace envelop our Spirit and Love wipes away, disinfects hate forever and ever. 

And so we wait over here, while she is over there, and we pray that she will receive mercy to get home, the Heavenly Home awaiting her where her husband waits, her grandson prepares, Her Heavenly Father hears our prayers. 

I remember the day very well, the day she knew her husband definetly went to heaven, but she did not think, had no assurance she would be "so lucky." 

It had only been a few hours since my father-in-law peacefully got up out of bed in the middle of the night, made himself some soup, sat in his recliner and went to be with the Lord. In the beginning stages of dementia, and in her confusion, she asked me about Heaven, how she could make sure she could see Dad again. 

The birds chirped loudly in the trees as we sat in her small patio. I asked her the questions one asks when sharing the Good News. Do you believe in God, Mom? We cannot have communion with God because of our sin, it has separated us from Him. Do you know why Jesus came Mom? 

She began to talk of her childhood, how she walked herself to Sunday School in the Netherlands, but no one in her family went. She learned a little about God, maybe Jesus. The need for religion or any church affiliation in adulthood only came when convenient, sponsorship by the Luthren Church to come to America, weddings, babtisms, funerals.  My Father-in-law was Catholic, and "he was a good man," she repeated over and over to me in her tears and her overwhelming fears. 

We talked for some time as I held her hands and asked if she wanted to pray, confess her sin, ask Jesus into her heart and have the hope of Heaven. In her thick accent, she pleaded with me to pray and I told her she could repeat the words I said and believe with all her heart that God would hear her. 

And so we did. On the same morning my father-in-law entered Heaven himself, she, even in her confusion and dementia, made Peace with the heavenly Father. 

Isaiah 49:13b "For the Lord has comforted His people, and will have compassion on the afflicted." 

As we returned into the apartment, my husband sitting in Dad's chair, she patted his shoulders and in tears, apologized to her son. 

""I didn't tell you Teddy, I didn't know...I'm so sorry, I never told you about God...Teddy, do you know?" 

My husband, looking up at his mother, in a bit of a surprise, tells her that he knows God, he has salvation, reassuring her that God is good. 

The years go by and her dementia initiates more change and the move to the memory care facility. She no longer knows her grandchildren, her 5 great grand children are a mystery. Her fear overwhelms her and her tears are always evident. Every minute is brand new from the previous one. She won't remember yesterday, a fog of what happened five minutes ago. 

She hugged and loved on me though, in her dementia more than she ever did in her lifetime of having me as her daughter-in-law. 

My tears are evident when I leave her, though I know she is safe. 

And I know as we wait for this next chapter, God, because He is full of Grace, will honor her prayer in the patio of sorrows, welcoming her home. It will be in heaven where she will learn of His character, of His sovereignty, of the stories and the orchestrations. It is there she will meet the saints, hear the choirs, be a part of the Body of Christ and maybe attend Sunday School again, have a ministry.  

I like to think on that, what she has to look forward to. 

Father God, thank You for the opportunity to share the hope of Your Son on that very sad, bittersweet day. I will never forget our precious words together, my mother-in-law and me and Your amazing grace. Today, as we learn of her entering hospice care and we cannot be with her, we ask for Your comfort and peace as You prepare her for eternity and a reunion. May we be ever cognizant of the moments to share the Good News of the Gospel with those You place in our path. May those who know You Lord, never waste a moment not wanting to know You more. This breaks my heart for He longs to give us so much more if we just trust Him. Grace for Salvation is all sufficient, but Sustaining Grace gives us the abundant life promised and a fulfillment of His perfect Will.  Lord, please bless my bother-in-law and his family for he has worked tiredlessly guiding the decisions and doing all the paperwork for her care. Thank You Lord and bless the nurses and doctors in this COVID19 pandemic and all of her previous care. Thank you especially for Nurse Carissa being near to my mother-in-law and all the staff at the hospital. Thank You Lord for the promise of Heaven and for Your comfort and strength for all the days ahead until we too, are Heaven Bound. Amen. 

A Truly Good Life

I Timothy 6: 18-19  "Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."


This is #BirthdayWeek. My husband's comes first, then a week later, mine. A couple of years ago, I found the perfect thin, artificial Christmas tree for a corner of my home below the stairs. It sits in a beautiful pedastal pot. I loved it so much, after many years not putting up a tree, I decided to decorate it for the coming up holidays after Christmas.

A Valentine's Day tree, a St. Patrick's Day tree, an Easter Tree.

Then, once those passed and the weather began warming up, I took the tree down until the late fall, Thanksgiving week.

But not this year. COVID19 keeps us home bound and I just like my crazy tree. So, I decided to decorate it for #Birthdays.

It required a trip to Dollar Tree, one store I can count on to be open for some "essentials."

What can I decorate a tree with for birthdays? Balloons and bows!

Found a cute changeble date calendar at Dollar Tree

I share a birthday with a friend I've known since 2nd grade. That is a very long time! She lives in Michigan. Purchasing a beautiful card and writing a note, butterfly stickers on the envelope, I got it in the mail early...

Then it dawned on me, I forgot to put a stamp on it. I can't blame this on the "virus," can I?

I received the most beautiful, special birthday card today from my sister and a surprise visit from co-workers.

Celebrate Good times, Good friends, family.

~~~

Walking around my neighborhood, I stopped to take a picture of this driveway artwork. #COVID19 inspired, the heart also reminds me of hands on each side, holding the world. Yes, it is temporary, just like my tree, a reminder of so much to be thankful for because the world is spinning fast and right now, we're hunkered down in our own little world, zooming and coloring, sewing masks and binge watching all of Netflix, baking bread, gardening...

What are you doing you wouldn't have done before COVID19?

Celebrate health, privilege, opportunity, talents, discoveries in our world, in yourself, in God.

How is Your relationship with Him?  Have you got the time?

~~~

At the beginning of this week,  a minimum of 16 chrysalises spread themselves from one end of my butterfly garden to the other. COVID19 afforded me the time to watch, chart and capture the event of metamorphosis in each step. I learned that some are not successful. One butterfly emerged damaged, unable to fly. I did the research on what to do and settled on leaving it up to nature, partially. I did give it some honey water which it gladly drank from and I kept it close to many flowers it walked on and hopped around with its curled up wings.

I also experienced a butterfly that could not emerge from the chrysalis. For many hours it struggled and though I tried to help the process, it as well did not survive.

Yesterday and today, many birthdays happened. Chrysalises opened up everywhere and healthy Monarch butterflys emerged to check out the world from a much different perspective.

A hummingbird made a nest in the middle of my front patio on a butterfly ornament.

My best friend put her beloved pet down today.

The governor and mayor reported the new statistics and crowds gathered at the beach to "protest" lockdown and closed recreation areas.

Celebrate life, love, gifts, freedom.

Life consists of good things and things we make good.
Life is constant and changing.
Life is fleeting and precious.
Life is worth living...at home, in the garden, with each other and family.
Hopefully, we'll be able to have beach bonfires again soon.
With God, we can take hold of life, the good and the not so good, with hope.
Make life good by being good to each other.

God makes all things good in His time. He celebrates us and doesn't forget a stamp! (He doesn't need one)!

Heaven is the hope we hold on too. Let us reflect that, in the good and not so good. In this COVID19 time, may we look back and say, that was not so bad, this is the good that came from such as time as this...

Lord, we thank you for the good times and yes, we can, with faith, give thanks even for the hard times, the sad times and dissappointments. In You, all things work together for the good to those who call You Lord. We pray for strength when our days seem long or uninspired. We thank You that You bestow grace on us, when we least expect it and forgive us always. Help us Lord, to be generous and help others see the Good in life, a life lived for bringing You the Glory. Thank You Lord for one more year. May I bring You praise and glory to the best of my human capabilities and may You Lord be seen in my goodness, not of myself, but because You are Good to me. Grace Upon Amazing Grace.
Amen.

Facing Grace

Jeremiah 51:51  " We are ashamed because we have heard reproach; disgrace has covered our faces. 


You know those moments when your Bible opens randomly and you feel led to just read from anywhere, without context, beginning or ending?

That happened this week. Flipping pages, probably looking for Psalms, I was distracted. My Bible ended up open to Jeremiah when I came back to look for what I originally wanted to read, but before I did that, I happened to glance at the last paragraph of my Bible to my left, but the bottom of the right page, reading these verses 49-51 of the 51st chapter of Jeremiah. It caught my attention.

My commentary on Jeremiah describes him as a "heartbroken prophet with a heartbreaking message. But through his sermons and signs he faithfully declares that surrender to God's will is the only way to escape calamity."

Calamity...that is a word we could certainly afixx to the season this world is in today, #COVID19.

Mandated now,  everyone who steps outside and has any kind of interaction with the public and/or family must wear a protective mask. The mask doesn't protect the wearer, but protects another person from receiving anything unintentionally released from a cough or sneeze.

We've all been trying to follow the rules these last few weeks, But, #MaskWeek is apparent now,  everywhere. Our church and our amazing Chinese Fellowship made over 2000 masks to share with the public. I received a butterfly mask from a friend last week, left cutely and carefully packaged on my front door mat. Two other friends have sewn masks and I've received from their effort. Masked up, Virus-spreading body parts covered--now an essential part of our new normal. Many are making masks, repurposing things to make masks and adding to their regular production line, masks. Even students in computer tech classes are learning to create 3-D shields remotely. That is so cool.

Some of these masks, like a few of mine, are made from a remnant, a left over piece of fabric big enough to create a new purpose. Jeremiah's hope for his people as their prophet, that they (Judah) will turn back from their apostasy, and return morally and spiritually to the God of their Fathers. Judah remained in captivity to Babylon for many more years. Although Jeremiah pleaded and proclaimed God's grace and restoration, he always hoped for a remnant to rise up.

In this verse, one can picture a dissapointed Jeremiah, shaking his head maybe wringing his hands, and shedding a few tears. He says in the verse prior, "Remember the Lord from afar, and let Jerusalem come to your mind."   

What if God sees you as a remnant He longs to repurpose for His will?

 A nation that has dismissed, watered-down, been too busy for, neglected, compromised, rebuked, disrespected and forgotten their God is a nation...a world in trouble. It's been that way since the Garden. "Disgrace covered their face and as a result," Jeremiah states, yet still the whole of a nation became infected and enslaved.

Adam and Eve noticed their nakedness, ashamed. (Gen.3:7) and they put together some fig leaves to cover themselves. Yet God still showed them His grace and mercy. Genesis 3:21 states: "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them. 

Clothed them in GRACE.

We are wearing masks, not out of guilt but grace for others. God did not cause COVID19. As is every other bad, sad, tragedy, this world needs grace and a relationship with a God who is the Giver of Grace for there are eventual consequences and into eternity when we choose the world. Wearing our "masks"of Christianity doesn't bring on the cure. God knows our hearts, what we pursue, who is His.

And yet He still longs to give us His Amazing Grace.

Can we be a part of the remnant that gives grace? Can we receive it? Tie it around us and approach life with His reminder that every day is a gift?

Dis-grace covers our faces. Amazing Grace heals us and we remember the Lord face to face, not from afar.

Lord God, Thank you for the lessons taught from the Old Testament. We can apply so much today from the lives of those gone before us. We see the brokenness of Judah and the Prophets calling out to Your people, come home, be safe, rid yourself of that which enslaves you. Yet, in their stubborness, they would have to endure until Your prophesy fulfilled in You, the coming Messiah, Emmanuel, God with us. Lord, help us to heed to Your Word, and not suffer reproach. I long to be a good listener, one who hears and acts on what You lead me to. Help me to persevere and see each day gifted as a day to better know You and serve You. Whatever masks we hide behind sometimes, give us the courage to remove them and breath in freely Your amazing grace. Thank you Lord, for making a way for us. I pray for America, for the world that is in this pandemic, we will seek to know You and listen for Your voice which calls us to be a remnant, a repurposed tool in which to be used for Your Glory. How amazing is that! Amen.

Have Mercy

Matthew 5:7 "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." 

Equipped for Mercy 

The USNS Mercy sailed into the Port of Los Angeles today. The 1000-bed ship will serve as floating hospital for non-Coronavirus patients.

"Mercy brings a team of medical professionals, medical equipment and supplies, all of which will act, in essence, as a `relief valve' for local civilian hospitals in Los Angeles so that local health professionals can better focus on COVID-19 cases,'' he said. "We will use our agility and responsiveness as an afloat medical treatment facility to do what the country asks, and bring relief where we are needed most.''

https://www.foxla.com/news/usns-mercy-hospital-ship-arrives-at-port-of-los-angeles-to-bring-relief-to-overwhelmed-area-hospitals

Mercy is a name of a huge ship. But really it is about the people, the jobs, the care, the courage, the do diligence of those placed on board to serve, bring healing and comfort to those recovering from other ailments and/or injuries. 


Essential for Mercy 

Our doctors and nurses, EMT's and various therapists and health providers are risking their own health and beyond by serving all the communities at large at this very moment in time across our country, around the world. They are working without enough protective equipment in this pandemic. The numbers are increasing. Quarantined patients are without their family and visa-versa.Nurses serve not only in the physical care, but in the emotional care of these patients. Who is caring for their anxieties, their mental and emotional health? 

Just like after war, after 9-11, we may see a surge of PTSD in our health professionals. 

Exacting Mercy 

I saw this story today--had to share it. 

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/on-air/restaurants-cater-meals-to-hospital-and-medical-workers/2336721/


The merciful:  "those who, through brotherly love, account another person’s misery their own; who weep over the calamities of others; who, out of their own property, feed the hungry and clothe the naked; who admonish those that are in error, inform the ignorant, pardon the offending; and who, in short, use their utmost endeavours to relieve and comfort others." ~ Erasmus, Dutch scholar and Christian philosopher, 1466-1536 A.D. 

Lord, I pray that you equip us with your mercy to serve those in need around us, the wounded in spirit, the bed-ridden in anxiety, the broken, unable to catch their breath. Allow us to be essential in all our thoughts and deeds, in our daily stay-at-home schedules and plans within these dynamics and parameters because of this merciless pandemic. Father God, give us exacting mercy at the time most needed, patience and understanding for each other, and the will and mindset to pursue Your mercy and grace even more. Lord, Your redemption awaits us as Easter approaches, yet Your redemption already empowers us now. There are heroes among us, many in the spotlight and many undercover. However You choose to use us in this time, let us be obedient to Your calling and humble in our approach. Expand our gifts for the greater Good, and multiply Your servants to proclaim the Hope in a world shuttered from Your Light. Thank You Lord for Your mercy given to us, and we pray for You to be merciful again on those in need and the wisdom to embrace it. Amen 

Certainty

Hosea 6:3  "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.  
                    His going forth is as certain as the dawn;  
                    And He will come to us like the rain, 
                    Like the spring rain watering the earth."

About six weeks ago, my son helped me dig a spiral trench in which I placed daffodil bulbs. Greatly discounted, I purchased the lonely bag I found on the bottom of a wayward rack at the local Home Depot. Planting time is usually around late fall. A warm February day reminded me of the plan. I remember we dug right after I returned from church. I rushed my son's help before he took off for whatever adventures awaited him--certain he had other plans.

The thing is, the way they looked in the bag, a bit tattered, possibly compromised, I wasn't sure they were viable. What I knew though, encouraged me to plant anyways, placing the bulbs snug next to each other. I imagined their beauty coming up in the spring, the circular movement of my design in the planting and the hope that next year,  I could plant a mirror image on the other side.

As I placed each bulb down and finished, I stood back, amazed at the perfect fit in the trench, from beginning bulb to the last one. It seemed certain that this might be their purpose.

About two weeks ago, after a very dry February, I noticed the ground cracking and the tips of a few daffodils starting to protrude. I grabbed the hose and drenched the earth, absent of rain since Christmas. My hope, that all might make their way and burst through the ground.

A pair of doves (here is one) came to my garden one day. 

In planting and procurring a butterfly garden, and all the past experience, I am certain that the Monarch and other butterflies will soon be in abundance. I look forward with certainty, watching the sprouts that annualy come up, warmer weather and colorful petals along with the bees--are just around the corner. Today, I spotted a beautiful female monarch out my picture window. With certainty, I made my way outside with my phone to capture her delighting in her milkweed nursery in which to lay her eggs. I counted half a dozen fat caterpillars preparing with their own certainty, something supernatural might just be coming soon.

March brought us rain. Spring rain. I am certain this special gift from Heaven will encourage everything nature intended it to.

~~~

This week, #coronavirus changed our lives.

Certainty, a word we cannot use on most of what we do everyday. Uncertain when we might return to work, to school, to even our place of worship. Uncertain about this virus, the who, what and where. Uncertain about what we can buy at the grocery store. Uncertain of the information we are receiving, our bank accounts, but certain only in the fact that vigilance and duty to the orders given must be implemented to do our part, to best help.

But, then the certainty comes. We are certain we must socially distance ourselves from each other, wash our hands with compulsion and frequency and be a good neighbor.

Children giving their neighbor a "concert" in Ohio 

We become uncertain at things we haven't experienced for ourselves, with trusting other people's information, with the unknown. The reverse becomes true on what we are certain of. We know what we know, because of our own truth. We've experienced the faithful  truth raining down over and over into our life, how expectant we are that hope will fly in, how humbling and courageous we are to make a way, open up our hearts to plant a promise and then nurture it to bloom. I am certain that God is good.

I am certain that the Lord goes before me. He makes Himself known over and over again in my life. People will do and say uncertain things, institutions will fail, viruses send messages of fear and uncertain futures. But the Lord's certain and sustained love keeps me pressed in to Him for all my uncertain moments.

Thank You Father God,  for being the certain and steadfast Spring Rain in my heart and soul. You refresh and prepare me with Your Word for Holy things. I am certain of Your grace planted deep and how You allow me to see through my own cracks in the ground of my human decisions, a story to be told. Your unfailing grace and plan, your supernatural design for me, a certainty of the Divine Plan. Thank You that I know where my sustenance is, where I can place my hope and even my legacy in, for You are certain to hear my prayers and answer them in Your perfect timing and certain to give me blessings in this life and into eternity. I pray and ask for those uncertain and living in fear of what they have not experienced in You, to lay aside what they think they know and press into You, the God who makes Himself known and certain when we seek Your face. In Your Amazing Grace, Amen.

A bee sheltering in a safe place.

And most certainly, the daffodils bloom