Friday, October 23, 2015

Falling Into His Grace

I Peter 4:10 "As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God."

It started 7 years ago, with an article in the local paper--a walk for kidney disease, THE kidney disease that bloated our son up, filled him with anti-inflammatory steroids for life and taught him words in his young age like nephrologist, embolism, and needle biopsy.

Here I sit, eating a cold slice of pizza, still wired from my after-work Frapp and a couple of gathering trips for supplies for tomorrow morning's NephCure Walk--the 6th one I've planned and organized.

I feel it coming on...

I am not sure if I am going to burst out crying from exhaustion or I am going to fall to my knees in utter humbleness at how good God is to me. There is a fine line between the two at this very minute and so, I sit to write, to see where my words go, to unwind in the massaging of the Holy Spirit through His Word, in my thoughts, in my memories, in my anticipation, in the sweet mercy of the Lord.

The manifold Grace of God.

The meaning of this word, manifold, (in the Greek) is interpreted as "variegated," or multi-colored. Fall, though in California it looks and feels different than most parts of the country, the changing leaves, the colors and foliage exemplify variegation, the fullness of colors.

Fullness of Grace brightens up the dull areas of my life and piles high above the roots of my salvation. 

Grace Upon Grace (John 1:18)...Amazing Grace. 

Super-duper support, generous givers, vigorous volunteers and pro-active adults with numerous Facebook posts and the sweet faces of their children culminate tomorrow to share in this burden and to gather within the Grace--all different with different stories, yet the same love. They step out in Hope.

I will place my son's picture up on the table with a few pumpkins around it and know the Hope of the Lord. I see it in the challenge of this event and the Grace and fellowship He lavishes on me.

I snuggle still through the warm blankets of His promise to bloom again in the Spring of His planting. The variegated leaves of His grace cover me, feeding me, restoring me to know that I labor not for my glory...

but all for His Glory. 

I miss you Timmy, every day. It is never something that leaves me, ever. Thank you Lord for so many butterfly gifts this week, so much encouragement for Ted and myself. Lord, you know my uttermost thoughts and desires and You intentionally bring me to Your table to feed me and rejuvenate me, when so many things can get in the way. Thank you Lord for Your wisdom, Your Word, the Holy Spirit's voice that gently speaks to me in my very human emotions. Thank You Lord for this ministry---Yes, I call it a ministry, and may our efforts bring comfort and healing in Your time. Thank you for the relationships I am making and keeping. Lord, thank you for Your strength, even in my moments such as now, may I remain Your humble servant until You sweep and lift me up to be in Your presence, like a single multi-colored leaf floating high on the very breath of God.

1 comment:

  1. And once again you lead us through the maze of dealing with the deepest of grief while still giving God the glory. I take solace in these words of hope and renewal!