Outbreak

Galatians 6:17 "For now on let no one cause trouble for me, for I bear on my body the brandmarks of Jesus."


I saw them this morning, paused and wondered if they would fade, maybe by summer.  Continuing to moisturize as I do routinely, the purpleish dots decorated both my legs. I knew more scattered across my tummy, my back and my arms.  These scars were left from a troubling time not so long ago, scars from stress, anxiety--scars from an outbreak of hives and the constant itch they generated. 

My body reacts to stress in very wierd ways. At one time in my life I dealt with severe hair loss, and eczema always seems to be an irritant when I'm a bit overwhelmed. This is how God put me together. 

But, I shouldn't be, right? I am a believer. "I trust God in everything"...and my inner voice begins the dialogue with itself, and I open the door to more doubt, more anxiety, worrying about my stress and anxiety! 

Ugh! I pray over and read Philippians 4:6, a mantra I must repeat and pray always and forever. 

It's the world we live in today; too much to process and expect an answer for right away. 

Remember that old saying? "Things will work themselves out in time." 

In the few weeks my son and I were dealing with a relationship issue, also involving a third party, all of our good intentions soothed over some situations, but many layers of hurt and anger deep within could not be buffed away so quickly. I wanted nothing more then for my son to be happy, work together for a good outcome, but his friend's healing did not come on our watch. 

Walking through this grief and dissapointed, this heartache with my son, caused me an outbreak of severe hives. 

Walking, sitting and counseling with my son, hearing him pray with me and for himself and this brokenness caused me an outbreak of praise to God for the best words, the honest cries and now I can say, even the heartbreak and dissappointment he received. The healing continues and insight and forgiveness moves us forward. 

Things DID work themselves out in time. It wasn't so much for her, but for my relationship with my son. We are better for this, closer, and I know he respects me and knows the Lord. It may not look like what we think it should, but God showed up in a very dark time, my son initiating the call, both to God and his believing mom.  In retrospect, we both are wiser. We know where and what we can handle when it comes to wounds cut deep and bleeding out onto others. That is God's undoing, and we continue to pray for that very thing. 

My scars remind me, not of the itchyness, but of the grace that appeared over and over. They remind me of my human nature, the way God created me with nerve endings that give awareness of pain and suffering, and how soothing to the skin of my soul-- prayer and His promises, His timing and His glorious works are. Nothing, absolutely nothing in this world is more intimate than to pray in humility, with someone you love so dearly! 

Evil intentions and hurt wanted to leave a festering blister, but the Lord's healing hands administered an ointment of love and grace. Scars may remain but God's outbreak through our tough and tanned layers when we expose our need for Him, covers us and protects us from further damage. 

Thank You Lord.  Everything will work out in time--in Your  timing in and through prayer and Your will. You know Lord, all the things done out of love and good intentions. Sometimes, we are just a stepping stone for another pathway. I can only pray that whatever roads are chosen that they lead straight to You, Your forgiveness and grace. If Lord, any words or thoughts resonate, let Your grace be magnified. I continue to pray for the lost and the broken, for generations affected by poor choices. You Lord are The Healer. May Your grace and love continue to pour onto my son for continued strength, purpose and healing. You know my skin-deep prayers for him. Help me trust in Your timing and continue to guide us in Your ways, Amen.