The Greater Grace

Psalm 86: 12-13  "I will give thanks to Thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and will glorify Thy name forever. For Thy lovingkindness toward me is great, and Thou hast delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol." 

I said goodbye to a collegue, a man whose friendship I treasure and whose wisdom and grounding in Truth encouraged me at work. He retired. Bon voyage, Art. I will miss your greetings across campus, "How ya doin' Sis?!" Grace is made greater when friendships are centered around His faithfulness.

I honored a classmate's passing; again cancer rears its ugly head and wins the earthly battle, but eternity is a victory. I didn't know him in school, yet I knew him in what we shared; God, classmate friends, family love, a neighborhood and The Dodgers. RIP Alan.  I now have two new friends, your son and daughter. Grace is made greater when we can serve one another.

February 27th this year fell on Monday. Ten years ago, it was on a Tuesday. Myself, my husband and my youngest son received the heart-breaking news that our oldest son, our brother, did not survive the clutches of a deteriorating disease he suffered with most his life. He was only 26. His name is Timothy. Grace, my emulsion, my strength, my soul-giving breath continues to guide me and strengthen me to understand a God who is great, a God who is good. Even in the darkest of times, God's grace is greater.

In my time with my writing group this week, our prompt for our journal session was to write about grace, its impact on our life. Well, I kidded with the my writing partner who penned this particular opening segment of our curriculum...

"I wrote a whole book already on that subject!"

She laughed along with me, knowing that "grace" in itself, is what we all write about in every word we attempt to put together to makes sentences, to explain our insignificant lives--but how He in His grace set upon and in us, changes us. He makes us significant and continues to do so.

So, I wrote and in my "not allowed editorializing" before I shared my words, I stated that this might just be the beginning of another book of my amazing moments with God who so lovingly shows me His care of my heart concerning the loss of my son. His visible grace I received on a day marking a 10-year anniversary and I serve a God who lavishes lovingkindness on me and delivers my soul in a very clear yet personal way. So Amazing. So thankful. So Good.

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Dylan. He is 20 now, so that would make him 10 years old when we first moved here, just 5 short months after Timmy died. We shared this townhouse, his family on the other side of our common wall.  Dylan and his brother Jordan came over frequently, to love on us and share with us. Their mom and dad, Raul and Ronda became like family.We felt for the first time in many years like we were "home." That was so God. He graced us with this home, orchestrating this place...these neighbors, so we could settle in, so we might grieve surrounded by His care and love. It DOES come generously in His servants.We love those two boys, and I believe God placed us here, next door to the Zavaletas for His purpose and comfort.

So now, ten years later,  my husband and I plan a half-day at Disneyland, dinner somewhere--just be together to remember the day Tim went to heaven. It rained, poured hard all the way to the Park, but stopped as we parked following the car in front of us. We merged from our vehicle as the occupants next to us do the same--Dylan, and his girlfriend, randomly parking right next to us in the biggest parking lot in the country. After the laughs, selfie-taking, and chit-chat, they went on their way and we did the same. I felt God...I heard God say to me...

"Remember...not just Timmy, but how I chose to bless you, give you comfort in your grief. I moved you to a better place, a good place, and surrounded you with love. Dylan is that reminder, of 10 years in your home and 10 years of seeking Me and allowing Me to love you and show you My glory." 

I knew we would have a good day.

We chose ESPN Zone to have dinner, a place represented by sports, fans and good food, three things my son loved. The server walked us to a booth right in the middle of the restaurant with a clear view of the huge TV, the LA Kings skating against the Minnesota Wild. Ted and I ordered and as I enjoyed a glass of wine, I read the scrolling trivia atop the screen, the "Did you know" questions and answers zipping by as the defense and offence slashed across the ice below.

"Did you know that Barry Bonds holds the home run record of 762 runs in his career? 

As a matter of fact, I DID know that, because a chapter in my book recollects that moment he hit that ball, achieved that record the summer we moved, the summer right after Tim's death...the summer I thought a lot about heaven.

Then those dates scroll along...1954-1980.

I have to wait another 10 minutes for the board to repeat itself so I could see those dates again. Those dates...get its content. I knew what they meant to me.

1954, the year I was born. 1980, the year Tim was born.

..."but he does not hold the world record. That is held by Sunahara Oh, a Japanese player who out hit Barry Bonds by 160 home runs in a career spanning from 1954-1980."

I take a picture on the next loop with my cell phone.

Later that night, I would ask my husband, Ted, what he thought that meant--seeing those two dates, those years on that screen as we were "celebrating" a heavenly birthday. Ten years of hearing from God and receiving His grace and comfort in so, so many significant and amazing ways--I am always the one to interpret, to know the meaning, to ponder and recognize.

But not this time. I asked Ted, not even trying to analyze it. I asked the father of our son to tell me what Our Father meant by showing me those dates.

"God's showing you the bond between a mother and a son, that He understands and knows you miss him. You and Timmy--together, forever."

(Did he know he used the word "bond?"...that was unintentional, right)?

God is so Good. His lovingkindness towards me is great! Greater than a huge parking lot with thousands of cars and people. Greater than cheering crowds and professional hockey players and broadcast capabilities. Greater than Disneyland and rain storms and home run records!

His lovingkindness is greater than my grief. For I have experienced the depths of that emotion and God has delivered me from the part that leaves me feeling alone, insignificant, angry, questioning, worthless, empty, fearful...doubting. He made Tim's time here significant. Grace does that. Grace continues to do that. He keeps giving and showing me beauty in this ugliness of what we call death. For death in grace is only an earthly, flesh, temporary departure. Death in Christ is a home run straight to eternity. That is something so significant, one can't help but proclaim His goodness, scroll it out in the words and actions of my heart. 

Thank You Lord for your grace, your lovingkindness towards me. Thank You for the grace that saved my son and brought him to eternity where we will see each other again in Your Glory. Thank You for giving me such amazing moments that point to Your lovingkindness towards all who believe in You and seek You in their time of great need. With all my heart, I cannot thank You enough for Your gift of grace, an undeserved favor from You, the Holy One, my Creator and Giver of all things good. Help me Lord to also be a grace-giver in these times when Your lovingkindness is needed in so many dark places.  You are good, Amen.

                                                Your Grace Finds Me ~ Matt Reddman

A Passionate Life

Proverbs 4:23 "Watch over your heart with do diligence, (guard) for from it flow the springs of life."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡   Did you know it is Heart Health month?  ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡  *

The brain is really the organ in charge of our thoughts and actions. Our heart, our life pumping, blood delivering hub, gets the romantic attachments, the icon shape, and sometimes the blame for when things happen--either for the good or not so good emotion- based actions. 

But really, that is, again, our thought processes, our decision making brain and all our input into it. 

I think the author of Proverbs is referring here to our passions--where our input comes from. 

Watch what you become passionate about. Be careful how much time is devoted to other things and not spent with God. (balance). What messages from the world are you listening to more intently than the Word of God? 

What are your priorities concerning your spiritual growth? 

To watch over something, to guard, indicates that there is an expectation that something may be lurking, may be ready to attack, may be wanting to steal away, slowly yet with intent, filter into our thinking and our passions. And so begins the dilution, the compromise, the passionless, unmarked, dimmed Christian life. The world bombards us with many ideologies, temptations, smart phone apps, social media, Super Bowl commercials...you know. But God gives us all we need to guard against it. 

Sometimes, it is subtle-- all the busyness of everyone these days, yours truly included. 

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A challenging end to January going into February, my writing and ministry partner has been hospitalized for almost 3 weeks now.  I've had to do some things without her. My heart and my brain hurt for my friend; and it is only human that feelings and thoughts build. It is in community, in strong friendships and in prayer where the Holy Spirit Commanding Guard stands ready to help us keep the beat going. Her faith and love for me--  heart medicine for encouragement and my strength. We soldier on to continue in our mission, a passion for story-telling and sharing within our community to discover and connect similar passions,  and just maybe, in our obedience, spark an eternal passion. God is so good. 

When we are overwhelmed with everything that is not of God, our life-giving, God reflecting spring just may begin to dry up, become bitter-tasting, and/or reflect a lot of other things, not the face of Christ. 

Christ is what gives our hearts life. His heart, his blood, his grace IS our life spring. 

So why wouldn't we want to guard that, cover it in prayer, protect it with accountability partners, bathe it in His Word and His truth? 

I know what I am passionate about. My family. I love them and I am loved and through our trials and our victories, our passion increases, our faith endures. I am passionate about keeping my son's memory alive in me and in others, for the hope of Heaven. The Word of God. It sustains me, oxygenates my blood and gives me life. Writing. I write for His glory. My friends. Like-minded, authentic, praying friends who want more of God and want to grow together, share His insights together. Creating in nature and art. To use the gifts He's given me and keep active, to see the beauty of His promises and know His grace when I seek Him and spend time being still, listening to His passionate, love-filled, guiding whispers, His wise leading. 

Oh, and then there are those butterflies. My heart's passion is for God and from it flows the life-giving passions that I pray reflect Him in all He gives me to do, to be in this world for His eternal Kingdom. That is worth guarding and protecting until the day He takes me Home.  ♡

                                                                          

Heavenly Father, thank You for giving us both a brain to think, to choose, to know, to reason with. Thank You for giving us a heart, our emotions, to feel love, pain, forgiveness and grace. With both of those, sin entered the world and my own life. But because of Your own plan, and Your own love, You--The Creator, the two are connected. Love and Wisdom from You are life-sustaining and eternity-giving. Without Your sacrifice,Your grace, worldly passions disappoint, end, change and/or keep us spinning on a hamster wheel with no hope, no eternal purpose. Thank You Lord, that You are a passionate God for us, so passionate, You gave Your only Son so that I can be full of purposeful passion for more of Your own heart and have a passion for others. Help me Lord to be the best reflection of that passion, even and especially when my own emotions are challenged and my mind is drifting. May You guard against my heart and my brain from receiving messages of doubt and fear, for they are not from You. How thankful I am to be a child of God because You chose to be passionate for me. Amen. 



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ALL IS GOOD

Ecclesiastes 3: 12-13 I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one's lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor--it is the gift of God. 

What more could we really want?  All is GOOD! There's food and drink on the table because the reward of a paycheck entered the bank account, then the wallet. The agenda of the day includes grocery shopping, picking from a number of places in which to find multiple choices of ingredients for a meal, --not just one meal but three for each day and then maybe some snacks in between.

An alarm rings and we awaken to a brightening sky and a sun bursting with energy. All is GOOD. The car starts, coffee-hot and satisfying,  and the traffic isn't too bad. E-mails and communications wait for us at the office and the sales projections meet and exceed expectations. Projects progress towards completion and a possible bonus...

The surgery ended and you walked over to the family and told them of the success, allowing them to feel hope...

A food critic comes into your restaurant and gives you a four-star review.

Checks are written for donations and charities, colors are picked for a remodel, and schools selected for a higher education. Children are healthy, flowers are blooming, teams are winning. Tweets are sent, statuses updated and pictures posted. All is GOOD!

But for the Grace of God,  go I...

How do you REJOICE in the GOOD---the reality of YOUR GOOD?

Do you hear the BOSS? He calls you to come to a board meeting with Him every day. He's got a working plan, one set in eternity long ago. He wants to bless you and direct you to achieve your purpose by sending you out into the world to bring Him Glory. Our good effort in His grace, redeemed in eternity.

And it IS GOOD!  OH, SO VERY, VERY GOOD.

Every breath, every moment, every action and reaction, every dollar, every talent, every inspiration, every human being's potential in this world starts as a Gift of God. Every moment we spend at "labor" whether a surgeon or a sandwich maker , whether a carpenter or a counselor, a CEO of a large organization or a teacher of a kindergarten class, someone labors, rejoicing in their job and building up others and/or creating something new, something better. GOOD is visible.

Someone else leaves the day grumbling, back-biting, cheating, and ungrateful.  We've all labored with someone like that. Our job, our assignment in that?  Pray and build a relationship. That's how Jesus enters the labor force, through us. Model gratitude. Work to improve your surroundings. Be the Light. 

Today, we taught some special needs kids to grate carrots, developing and strengthening their fine motor skills. The result?  A sweet carrot cake.  All is GOOD and yummy too!  For these kids, there IS nothing better than to do GOOD and smile, rejoice in the task and receive the blessing of  the result of their labor. A simple task for some, a challenge for others.  

Many labor in need of daily encouragement. For them, Good is hard to see. The cancer spreads, the lay-off notice came, the accident...the divorce...the "fill in the blank." Discouragement lingers outside the cubicle,  fear waits in the parking lot. A lack of focus on the Good, leaves a void of any rejoicing for and in THE Problem Solver, the Burden Carrier.  Only a  bitter cup of coffee, and one that spills in in the lap,  feels hopeless.  Take a step back into the "training room." Find your "co-workers" and begin to believe in better days. Pour yourself a fresh cup of coffee and sit for awhile on break with the Lord in His Word. 

God tells us to rejoice in even these times. (James Chapter 1).  Endurance is the result, the Word says and for ourselves? We eventually become perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. God will hire you, a perfect candidate for His earthly duties, promote you for your job performance and attitude, use your story to bless others, and even in the hardest of laboring days, with our focus on Him, bring it all around for His glory. I know, this job seems impossible, but with God, all things ARE GOOD and POSSIBLE. 

Lord, help me to rejoice in my labor. All is GOOD in and through your economy Lord. Let others recognize You in their duties everyday and help me Lord to make You known in my own laboring and work. Lord, please help me NOT to grumble, fear or complain.  You know, I am guilty, if not with my mouth, definitely in my head. To You, it's all the same. Allow me to be a blessing, my labor a sweet success and all for Your GOOD and for Your glory. Lord, keep me rejoicing in all circumstances and laboring for Your kingdom. Strengethen me Lord until the day my labor is complete and may you say to me, "Well done, good and faithful servant."   Amen. 

Happy, Safe and Restful Labor Day Weekend. 

Big Stuff!

II Chronicles 2: 5-6 "And the house which I am about to build will be great; for greater is our God than all the gods. But who is able to build a house for Him, for the heavens and the highest heavens cannot contain Him?..."


In the news, we've seen a lot of BIG things.

Surf's up in California and then some!  Early this week our local beaches brought every die hard dude ready to hang ten--only the experts brave enough,  and many spectators staying a safe distance with their cameras and toes dug in the deep sand.  Swells as large as 25' pounded our coastline. Gnarly!

Finding safe harbor down in San Pedro, near Los Angeles, an enormous (61') yellow vinyl ducky eases among the tall ships. Created by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman,  she cruises the world hanging out for photos and selfies,  maybe hoping for some soap bubbles for her salty spa.  This just quacks me up!  

Did you hear about the baby born yesterday in China?

Just shy of 14lbs, this family's precious newborn made a huge entrance into the world!

Giant Panda Express!  

As big as some things get...and they do, God is bigger.

BIGGER than our bills, BIGGER than our job worries.

He is BIGGER than our cat scans and BIGGER than the results.

He is BIGGER than something unplanned and BIGGER than a plan gone wrong.

He is BIGGER than our fears yet personal enough to know us by name and see our heart's intentions from His heavenly realm.

His reach is endless, to infinity and beyond. His forgiveness of our sins stretches from the east to the west...forever.

He holds a big plan for you and me. Its construction began at the cross and continues to build towards eternity. All powerful,  wave after wave of His Holy Spirit washes us, refreshes us. Baptized in His love, we acknowledge Him before men as Lord and Savior. His promise is BIG, eternal life!

Lord, thank you for humbling me, for the privlege to worship you, in awe of how mighty and omniscient You are. Remind me Lord, when I begin to fret, that Your grace, Your provision, Your plan sees above my circumstances and that You remain always in control, big enough for my every need. Amen.

Etched and Written

Psalm 139:16 Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book...

Who had an Etch-a-Sketch when they were a kid? A toy by Ohio arts, the red case held an almost computer-like screen, two dials like a radio or T.V. that turned in any direction to manipulate a line and create a drawing. Although very linear, sometimes with patience and talent, one might get the lines to curve ever so slightly. 

If you messed up, that became an easy fix. Shake it and the picture disappeared. A new blank slate on which to try again, resume your controlled turns, decide whether to go right or left, up or down, moved with little effort.

The inventor, Andres Cassagnes died in France on January 16^th. His invention put Ohio Arts on the map and inspired many future architects.

                                                 

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While accompanying my student to his new drama class, the instructor kept repeating to the busy, full class, “Hurry and find your script, pick out your script!”

Can we create who we want to be; turn the dials to the left, to the right, somewhere in the middle and be happy with what appears? Or do we continue to shake it and try a new style, go a different direction, Let someone else control the “lines.”

How has our life been scripted? Is it a drama, a comedy, an inspirational love story? Are there a lot of characters or is it a one-act play? Do we rehearse our lines or do we know what to say, how to act? Will there be a standing ovation, the lights of Broadway, and a great review?

If I think of my life in Christ on an Etch-a-sketch, It only took one shake of the screen to erase my mess up.  When I asked God for forgiveness, when I believed, he erased all my wrong direction lines, both the ones I drew in the past and the ones I would draw in the future. As long as I hold the screen of my life up to him and allow his direction of my movements, the picture that is created promises to be detailed and an accurate depiction of not only who I am but who my creator is as well. Mona Lisa? No way! character, growth lines and shadows all play a part in the whole picture and God sees it as beauty. There are times when the lines seem to go off the page, reverse. That is when i look down and my hands are holding too tight on the knobs. as the saying goes, "Let Go, Let God." 

The script? I hope it is seen as a love story, one with both comedy and drama, a script many can relate to. I hope it stays unpredictable but with trust, knowing it promises to be encouraging story, all to the glory of the director. I share the billing with many talented players, some of us going through acting school together. The show never closes. One thing I do know, the sequels go on for eternity.

Lord, everyday I need your direction in my life, your wisdom for the picture of who you want me to be. You know the script. I ask never to be an understudy; to be ready with your words scripted on to my heart. Amen.