Facing Grace

Jeremiah 51:51  " We are ashamed because we have heard reproach; disgrace has covered our faces. 


You know those moments when your Bible opens randomly and you feel led to just read from anywhere, without context, beginning or ending?

That happened this week. Flipping pages, probably looking for Psalms, I was distracted. My Bible ended up open to Jeremiah when I came back to look for what I originally wanted to read, but before I did that, I happened to glance at the last paragraph of my Bible to my left, but the bottom of the right page, reading these verses 49-51 of the 51st chapter of Jeremiah. It caught my attention.

My commentary on Jeremiah describes him as a "heartbroken prophet with a heartbreaking message. But through his sermons and signs he faithfully declares that surrender to God's will is the only way to escape calamity."

Calamity...that is a word we could certainly afixx to the season this world is in today, #COVID19.

Mandated now,  everyone who steps outside and has any kind of interaction with the public and/or family must wear a protective mask. The mask doesn't protect the wearer, but protects another person from receiving anything unintentionally released from a cough or sneeze.

We've all been trying to follow the rules these last few weeks, But, #MaskWeek is apparent now,  everywhere. Our church and our amazing Chinese Fellowship made over 2000 masks to share with the public. I received a butterfly mask from a friend last week, left cutely and carefully packaged on my front door mat. Two other friends have sewn masks and I've received from their effort. Masked up, Virus-spreading body parts covered--now an essential part of our new normal. Many are making masks, repurposing things to make masks and adding to their regular production line, masks. Even students in computer tech classes are learning to create 3-D shields remotely. That is so cool.

Some of these masks, like a few of mine, are made from a remnant, a left over piece of fabric big enough to create a new purpose. Jeremiah's hope for his people as their prophet, that they (Judah) will turn back from their apostasy, and return morally and spiritually to the God of their Fathers. Judah remained in captivity to Babylon for many more years. Although Jeremiah pleaded and proclaimed God's grace and restoration, he always hoped for a remnant to rise up.

In this verse, one can picture a dissapointed Jeremiah, shaking his head maybe wringing his hands, and shedding a few tears. He says in the verse prior, "Remember the Lord from afar, and let Jerusalem come to your mind."   

What if God sees you as a remnant He longs to repurpose for His will?

 A nation that has dismissed, watered-down, been too busy for, neglected, compromised, rebuked, disrespected and forgotten their God is a nation...a world in trouble. It's been that way since the Garden. "Disgrace covered their face and as a result," Jeremiah states, yet still the whole of a nation became infected and enslaved.

Adam and Eve noticed their nakedness, ashamed. (Gen.3:7) and they put together some fig leaves to cover themselves. Yet God still showed them His grace and mercy. Genesis 3:21 states: "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them. 

Clothed them in GRACE.

We are wearing masks, not out of guilt but grace for others. God did not cause COVID19. As is every other bad, sad, tragedy, this world needs grace and a relationship with a God who is the Giver of Grace for there are eventual consequences and into eternity when we choose the world. Wearing our "masks"of Christianity doesn't bring on the cure. God knows our hearts, what we pursue, who is His.

And yet He still longs to give us His Amazing Grace.

Can we be a part of the remnant that gives grace? Can we receive it? Tie it around us and approach life with His reminder that every day is a gift?

Dis-grace covers our faces. Amazing Grace heals us and we remember the Lord face to face, not from afar.

Lord God, Thank you for the lessons taught from the Old Testament. We can apply so much today from the lives of those gone before us. We see the brokenness of Judah and the Prophets calling out to Your people, come home, be safe, rid yourself of that which enslaves you. Yet, in their stubborness, they would have to endure until Your prophesy fulfilled in You, the coming Messiah, Emmanuel, God with us. Lord, help us to heed to Your Word, and not suffer reproach. I long to be a good listener, one who hears and acts on what You lead me to. Help me to persevere and see each day gifted as a day to better know You and serve You. Whatever masks we hide behind sometimes, give us the courage to remove them and breath in freely Your amazing grace. Thank you Lord, for making a way for us. I pray for America, for the world that is in this pandemic, we will seek to know You and listen for Your voice which calls us to be a remnant, a repurposed tool in which to be used for Your Glory. How amazing is that! Amen.

Certainty

Hosea 6:3  "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.  
                    His going forth is as certain as the dawn;  
                    And He will come to us like the rain, 
                    Like the spring rain watering the earth."

About six weeks ago, my son helped me dig a spiral trench in which I placed daffodil bulbs. Greatly discounted, I purchased the lonely bag I found on the bottom of a wayward rack at the local Home Depot. Planting time is usually around late fall. A warm February day reminded me of the plan. I remember we dug right after I returned from church. I rushed my son's help before he took off for whatever adventures awaited him--certain he had other plans.

The thing is, the way they looked in the bag, a bit tattered, possibly compromised, I wasn't sure they were viable. What I knew though, encouraged me to plant anyways, placing the bulbs snug next to each other. I imagined their beauty coming up in the spring, the circular movement of my design in the planting and the hope that next year,  I could plant a mirror image on the other side.

As I placed each bulb down and finished, I stood back, amazed at the perfect fit in the trench, from beginning bulb to the last one. It seemed certain that this might be their purpose.

About two weeks ago, after a very dry February, I noticed the ground cracking and the tips of a few daffodils starting to protrude. I grabbed the hose and drenched the earth, absent of rain since Christmas. My hope, that all might make their way and burst through the ground.

A pair of doves (here is one) came to my garden one day. 

In planting and procurring a butterfly garden, and all the past experience, I am certain that the Monarch and other butterflies will soon be in abundance. I look forward with certainty, watching the sprouts that annualy come up, warmer weather and colorful petals along with the bees--are just around the corner. Today, I spotted a beautiful female monarch out my picture window. With certainty, I made my way outside with my phone to capture her delighting in her milkweed nursery in which to lay her eggs. I counted half a dozen fat caterpillars preparing with their own certainty, something supernatural might just be coming soon.

March brought us rain. Spring rain. I am certain this special gift from Heaven will encourage everything nature intended it to.

~~~

This week, #coronavirus changed our lives.

Certainty, a word we cannot use on most of what we do everyday. Uncertain when we might return to work, to school, to even our place of worship. Uncertain about this virus, the who, what and where. Uncertain about what we can buy at the grocery store. Uncertain of the information we are receiving, our bank accounts, but certain only in the fact that vigilance and duty to the orders given must be implemented to do our part, to best help.

But, then the certainty comes. We are certain we must socially distance ourselves from each other, wash our hands with compulsion and frequency and be a good neighbor.

Children giving their neighbor a "concert" in Ohio 

We become uncertain at things we haven't experienced for ourselves, with trusting other people's information, with the unknown. The reverse becomes true on what we are certain of. We know what we know, because of our own truth. We've experienced the faithful  truth raining down over and over into our life, how expectant we are that hope will fly in, how humbling and courageous we are to make a way, open up our hearts to plant a promise and then nurture it to bloom. I am certain that God is good.

I am certain that the Lord goes before me. He makes Himself known over and over again in my life. People will do and say uncertain things, institutions will fail, viruses send messages of fear and uncertain futures. But the Lord's certain and sustained love keeps me pressed in to Him for all my uncertain moments.

Thank You Father God,  for being the certain and steadfast Spring Rain in my heart and soul. You refresh and prepare me with Your Word for Holy things. I am certain of Your grace planted deep and how You allow me to see through my own cracks in the ground of my human decisions, a story to be told. Your unfailing grace and plan, your supernatural design for me, a certainty of the Divine Plan. Thank You that I know where my sustenance is, where I can place my hope and even my legacy in, for You are certain to hear my prayers and answer them in Your perfect timing and certain to give me blessings in this life and into eternity. I pray and ask for those uncertain and living in fear of what they have not experienced in You, to lay aside what they think they know and press into You, the God who makes Himself known and certain when we seek Your face. In Your Amazing Grace, Amen.

A bee sheltering in a safe place.

And most certainly, the daffodils bloom 

The Greater Grace

Psalm 86: 12-13  "I will give thanks to Thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and will glorify Thy name forever. For Thy lovingkindness toward me is great, and Thou hast delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol." 

I said goodbye to a collegue, a man whose friendship I treasure and whose wisdom and grounding in Truth encouraged me at work. He retired. Bon voyage, Art. I will miss your greetings across campus, "How ya doin' Sis?!" Grace is made greater when friendships are centered around His faithfulness.

I honored a classmate's passing; again cancer rears its ugly head and wins the earthly battle, but eternity is a victory. I didn't know him in school, yet I knew him in what we shared; God, classmate friends, family love, a neighborhood and The Dodgers. RIP Alan.  I now have two new friends, your son and daughter. Grace is made greater when we can serve one another.

February 27th this year fell on Monday. Ten years ago, it was on a Tuesday. Myself, my husband and my youngest son received the heart-breaking news that our oldest son, our brother, did not survive the clutches of a deteriorating disease he suffered with most his life. He was only 26. His name is Timothy. Grace, my emulsion, my strength, my soul-giving breath continues to guide me and strengthen me to understand a God who is great, a God who is good. Even in the darkest of times, God's grace is greater.

In my time with my writing group this week, our prompt for our journal session was to write about grace, its impact on our life. Well, I kidded with the my writing partner who penned this particular opening segment of our curriculum...

"I wrote a whole book already on that subject!"

She laughed along with me, knowing that "grace" in itself, is what we all write about in every word we attempt to put together to makes sentences, to explain our insignificant lives--but how He in His grace set upon and in us, changes us. He makes us significant and continues to do so.

So, I wrote and in my "not allowed editorializing" before I shared my words, I stated that this might just be the beginning of another book of my amazing moments with God who so lovingly shows me His care of my heart concerning the loss of my son. His visible grace I received on a day marking a 10-year anniversary and I serve a God who lavishes lovingkindness on me and delivers my soul in a very clear yet personal way. So Amazing. So thankful. So Good.

✞✞✞

Dylan. He is 20 now, so that would make him 10 years old when we first moved here, just 5 short months after Timmy died. We shared this townhouse, his family on the other side of our common wall.  Dylan and his brother Jordan came over frequently, to love on us and share with us. Their mom and dad, Raul and Ronda became like family.We felt for the first time in many years like we were "home." That was so God. He graced us with this home, orchestrating this place...these neighbors, so we could settle in, so we might grieve surrounded by His care and love. It DOES come generously in His servants.We love those two boys, and I believe God placed us here, next door to the Zavaletas for His purpose and comfort.

So now, ten years later,  my husband and I plan a half-day at Disneyland, dinner somewhere--just be together to remember the day Tim went to heaven. It rained, poured hard all the way to the Park, but stopped as we parked following the car in front of us. We merged from our vehicle as the occupants next to us do the same--Dylan, and his girlfriend, randomly parking right next to us in the biggest parking lot in the country. After the laughs, selfie-taking, and chit-chat, they went on their way and we did the same. I felt God...I heard God say to me...

"Remember...not just Timmy, but how I chose to bless you, give you comfort in your grief. I moved you to a better place, a good place, and surrounded you with love. Dylan is that reminder, of 10 years in your home and 10 years of seeking Me and allowing Me to love you and show you My glory." 

I knew we would have a good day.

We chose ESPN Zone to have dinner, a place represented by sports, fans and good food, three things my son loved. The server walked us to a booth right in the middle of the restaurant with a clear view of the huge TV, the LA Kings skating against the Minnesota Wild. Ted and I ordered and as I enjoyed a glass of wine, I read the scrolling trivia atop the screen, the "Did you know" questions and answers zipping by as the defense and offence slashed across the ice below.

"Did you know that Barry Bonds holds the home run record of 762 runs in his career? 

As a matter of fact, I DID know that, because a chapter in my book recollects that moment he hit that ball, achieved that record the summer we moved, the summer right after Tim's death...the summer I thought a lot about heaven.

Then those dates scroll along...1954-1980.

I have to wait another 10 minutes for the board to repeat itself so I could see those dates again. Those dates...get its content. I knew what they meant to me.

1954, the year I was born. 1980, the year Tim was born.

..."but he does not hold the world record. That is held by Sunahara Oh, a Japanese player who out hit Barry Bonds by 160 home runs in a career spanning from 1954-1980."

I take a picture on the next loop with my cell phone.

Later that night, I would ask my husband, Ted, what he thought that meant--seeing those two dates, those years on that screen as we were "celebrating" a heavenly birthday. Ten years of hearing from God and receiving His grace and comfort in so, so many significant and amazing ways--I am always the one to interpret, to know the meaning, to ponder and recognize.

But not this time. I asked Ted, not even trying to analyze it. I asked the father of our son to tell me what Our Father meant by showing me those dates.

"God's showing you the bond between a mother and a son, that He understands and knows you miss him. You and Timmy--together, forever."

(Did he know he used the word "bond?"...that was unintentional, right)?

God is so Good. His lovingkindness towards me is great! Greater than a huge parking lot with thousands of cars and people. Greater than cheering crowds and professional hockey players and broadcast capabilities. Greater than Disneyland and rain storms and home run records!

His lovingkindness is greater than my grief. For I have experienced the depths of that emotion and God has delivered me from the part that leaves me feeling alone, insignificant, angry, questioning, worthless, empty, fearful...doubting. He made Tim's time here significant. Grace does that. Grace continues to do that. He keeps giving and showing me beauty in this ugliness of what we call death. For death in grace is only an earthly, flesh, temporary departure. Death in Christ is a home run straight to eternity. That is something so significant, one can't help but proclaim His goodness, scroll it out in the words and actions of my heart. 

Thank You Lord for your grace, your lovingkindness towards me. Thank You for the grace that saved my son and brought him to eternity where we will see each other again in Your Glory. Thank You for giving me such amazing moments that point to Your lovingkindness towards all who believe in You and seek You in their time of great need. With all my heart, I cannot thank You enough for Your gift of grace, an undeserved favor from You, the Holy One, my Creator and Giver of all things good. Help me Lord to also be a grace-giver in these times when Your lovingkindness is needed in so many dark places.  You are good, Amen.

                                                Your Grace Finds Me ~ Matt Reddman

Waves of Grace

Romans 5:1-2  "Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God."

It's one of those news days...breaking news, historical news, world events and change.

Sunbathers in Tunisia, their beach towels soaked in blood, a mosque in Kuwait blew up and something happened in France...

Washington D.C. glows like Skittles, a rainbow decision.


A dangerous, escaped prisoner, maybe two soon, brought down.

A flag may no longer fly in the South.

A President sings "Amazing Grace" before a grieving city, a city that knows these words by heart for many decades.

And I reel it back in to my little circle.

Should I get a new swimsuit and try out the pool? Should I let another summer go by without the refreshment of a swim?

I retook my driver's test after missing one-too-many the first time around for a renewal I had let slide. I can proudly say I am legit now.

I have big lizards in my yard.  They're pretty cool.

I live...I mean love, the pictures on social media, of every one's vacations to wonderful places,  and then there is Pinterest.

My tomatoes are doing well;  my peppers not so much.

I can't go to Disneyland now until late August.

Did I use too much water today?

I'm looking for that bright yellow, black-winged oriole (I think) to come back in my yard long enough to get a picture. I've seen him twice, swooping in for a drink of water.

This is what he looks like!  

And then there are the prayers for my outer circle:  A third job lay-off,  an abusive ex., two young mothers and their addictions, prodigal adult children, debt, cystic fibrous, cancer, depression, suicide, pain and recovery, chronic disease.

...and the President sings "Amazing Grace..."

 I have it... and I know it... and I live it... and I cherish it!

Only because He Gave It!  God,  through His Son deemed it so for this broken world. I believe. I read His unchanging Word.

And I need to give more of it. Be it. 

For the little circle ripples out to the bigger circle, whether a boulder hits the surface or a pebble.

Waves hit the shore, from sea to shining sea.  My water fountain for the birds ripples in the winds of change. God so loved the world...

Amazing Grace Lord, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. 

Waves of Grace, wash my eyes out to see more of You in all my circles. For you friend, I pray for peace, love, compassion, healing, provision and protection. I wish for you to know Amazing Grace and seek His purpose within your own circle. May God not hide His face from us, but empower us to be salt and light. Amen.

Casting Crowns: If We Ever Need You Lord 

How Can I Not..?

Psalm 145: 1-5   "I will extol Thee, my God, O King; and I will bless Thy Name forever and ever. Every day, I will bless Thee, and I will praise Thy name forever and ever. Great is the Lord, and highly to be praised..."

I am just going to write tonight what is on my heart. No less, no more, no mystery, no esoteric prose. It's all good, because God is good.

I can never love Him enough. Yet He loves me enough to die for me and to heal my heart for His purposes. 

It's been a hard couple of weeks beginning with saying goodbye to my sweet Father-in-law. Tonight, we remember that the end of February marks another year, (eight), that our son Timmy died on a surgical table, bleeding out all his strength from years of fighting too many diseases, too much pain, unable to catch his breathe and hold on to it. 

Graphic, I know. 

So is life. 

It's messy, complicated, disappointing, scary, painful  and for most, far from God...

...until you take the time to consider, to seek, to ask, to forgive, to love one another and truly embrace a hope and a purpose we were all created for, to worship Him!  

Until you humble yourself and accept His AMAZING GRACE and seek His divine purpose. 

Graphic begins to transform into gratitude, into grace, into a glorified masterpiece of His will and sovereign purpose. 

I know I am unworthy.

Yet, He meets me in my own graphic, messy self,  and creates a whole new perspective within my heart. 

How can I not praise His Name every day, very hour, every passing year, every Feb. 27th?

Tim got it. He made sure I knew that he knew before He left this world. God's been confirming it ever since.  

How can I not praise His name! How can I not serve Him with all my heart, seek Him in His Word, search for Him...meditate and rest in Him, and tell of His love for me, for you, for every single one of us? 

I still live in this skin and possess a tongue that says stupid things,  a brain that wants a bit of the world, and an attitude at times that needs to be kicked to the curb. A critical spirit lingers and loves to show up and mess with my head. 

Yet God...gives me a moisturizer of mercy for this skin, shuts my mouth and gently reminds me He's got this, provides for me what I truly need, and sits with me on the curb until I surrender into His arms. He brings to me friends who love on me so much, hold me accountable, and serve me. He creates opportunities...amazing ministries in which my critical spirit cannot possibly thrive. 

How can I not praise Your Holy Name?  

How can I not be so awe-inspired by all You have done for me?

Thank you Lord God for Your Love.  Thank you Heavenly Father for saving grace and sustaining grace. Thank you for all Your gifts, especially the Holy Spirit. Thank you for ministry and the freedom to worship You. Help me Lord to bring to You a worship that is worthy, a continued passion for more of You, a story that points only towards You. May I never lose hope and may my gain bring You alone glory and honor. Amen.  

Journal question and/or thought: What can you praise Him for tonight? What has He transformed, or healed in you?

Kisses from Heaven.

I Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you."


Writing a memoir about the journey through grief and healing, I find the experience of writing, recalling and reciting as spiritually affirming if not more so, than the remembered events and words I type out  in my word document. If I could begin to compare it to something, it's like walking into a very dark, lonely cave with a pen light only to have it transform into a Mag light, which leads into a beautiful cathedral, filled with stained glass windows and singing choirs of angels,  sunlit from up above.

Oh...one more thing, the angels sing to me while blowing kisses from Heaven.

Since the busyness of the school year and ministry started in September,  time to work on my chapters eludes me a bit. This week found me with 4 days off and I determined to spend some time with the keyboard, my memories and my work-in-progress. Sharing an important chapter this week with my writing group, I've been so blessed for their hearts to hear, to suggest, to seek to understand where my heart lies, then and now.  I found myself strolling through the cave-cathedral in both occasions and the beauty of these moments, overwhelms me.

The CATHEDRAL of His affirming plan in what I am writing, in what I am sharing in my writers' group; God confirms to me in such a miraculous way, ...as a friend said, "how could anyone deny the Deity of Christ!"

The bond of the Lord through people, through experiences, does not leave one in a dark and lonely place of grief. God designed fellowship, whether for a few days or for a lifetime. When He orchestrates lives together, even in the hardest, most distressing of times, His grace and mercy etches into our hearts.  His light shines on it, and by writing, by retelling, God makes Himself known! That connection shines again. Nothing is coincidence!

Yes, I've left out the details here, and they just may be in another chapter towards the  end of my book. Just know, that I know, that God shows Himself in such wonderful ways when He communicates His love and affirmation. Read His Word, sing a psalm, write a prayer, tell a story. Expect Him to show you and when He does, the miracle continues.

I am in the process of writing about THE SUFFERING; in,  through and after.

The God of GRACE heals my heart.

I am sharing my writing with my writers group to PERFECT it.

God CONFIRMS me by orchestrating Incidences, His Word, His Creation, His People, to speak clearly in my preparation of this story.

In that, I receive STRENGTH to continue on, to give Him praise, to Glory in His Love for me!

I am ESTABLISHED  in His Will and empowered to keep pressing on towards the Promises of Hope!

Thank you Lord, for the work I am doing, for the confirmation in such intimate, personal ways that you gave me this week. For sending moments to me that prove your amazing, miraculous ways. I praise Your Name, Name above all Names as my Lord and Savior, the Giver of my strength and the author of my story.  I continue to proclaim your grace upon amazing grace. Amen.

Reflection for your own journal: Where have you seen a miraculous confirmation of God's will in your own life?

Transforming Tears

II Corinthians 7:10-11a  For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold, what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation of yourselves, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong!

Why do we cry? 

We miss someone we no longer have around us.

 We feel physical pain. 

Our feelings get stepped on.

 Dissapointment.

 Regret. 

Anger.

What kind of sorrow is "Godly sorrow"?

We long for the connection with the Lord that became short circuited. Dead. 

When our zapped strength, trying to walk this life on our own, finally recognizes our own disregard for the True power source-- that is Godly sorrow. 

It's a place God wants us to long for, but that place is our choice. In the validation of our purpose for His glory,  the longing for a restored communion,  in the recognition of our unworthiness, through Jesus Christ, the son of God, who took on our sinful nature, tears fall. An understanding of the depths of His forgiveness, all of this and more brings Godly sorrow for a moment, followed by an eternity of hope. 

It's the formation of trust in The God who is bigger than all the tears we cry.  It is a desire to want more of Him.  This is a faith that relys on God Himself. Our humbleness before God does a work within us. 

It's letting go and becoming transformed into His image.

It is an indwelling of the Holy Spirit which leads one into His righteousness.

Godly sorrow is as simple as a personal, authentic  prayer before God each day. Because we have been justified through this faith, this Godly sorrow in our hearts, produces in us the desire to want more of God, to commune with Him in a supernatural way.

Do you want more than just OK?

Looking forward to worship with each other and fellowship, His creation creates a longing for the promised beauty of Heaven and a deep desire to share His Love.  I hunger for the deepness of His Word. 

Some things are uncomfortable, for they scrape against the God skin we've grown. We are salt and light, a city set on a hill. Our "righteousness" need only be enough to flavor with His intent; God does the work. Our light brightens in the shadows of a world growing darker by the minute, God brings the lost into the fullness of that Light. Not of this World, but doing good while present, that becomes an eternal perspective. Godly sorrow's transforming tears quench a heart into His eternal peace. 

I am sorrowful to God,  because I am wretched. In that sorrow, I received the joy of my salvation, Amazing Grace. I want more than just OK, more than slipping through the Pearly Gates and releasing a sigh of relief.

Father, thank you for reaching into my heart and making me sorrowful to the point where I came to ask You to replace it with your Spirit. May I live all my days aware of my need for You every minute and prayerfully, never taking for granted the joy you produce in me because of the sacrifice of Your Son, Jesus. I am only righteous because of Your Redemption, so Lord, take the  "self" out of self-righteous. Replace it with humbleness and love for the earthly sorrowful. Bless me with Your words to continue speak as salt and light. Amen.

                                            Switchfoot: More than Fine.  

In The Sky Above (Chino Hills).

Acts 2:19a "And I will grant wonders in the sky above, and signs on the earth beneath."  


I decided to go.  No, I did not know her personally.  CommUnity-Unity.  I come, united in purpose, to mourn, remember, pray, light a candle. 

The flame keeps going out, the wind a hindrance. 

Yet that stranger persisted. He handed me another candle, protected by a plastic cup. 

I scootched it up so the wick was below the top of the cup, protected and the flame remained. 

CommUnity. 

Guitar strums plunked and a voice sang out.  An Irish dialect read scriptures; Parish Priest of the Holy, of the Redeemed, of those left to do the dialoging, listened as CommUnity. 

And I prayed, asking, why God, is this really happening again? Words reminded us, "Tragedy brings us closer to the Lord or it pushes us farther away. I pray you make the right choice. She would want that from you today." 

 I stopped asking, for I know that to be true. 

I stood behind, on the hill above the valley of the green basketball court designated for the stage, the candle-holding crowd wrapped around in a U, a Unity of honor and support for the family.  

I saw, from my perspective, the whole of the gathering, the trees, the earth below, the sky.  I could take it all in. 

And I did. 

The hummingbird did not flit and zoom, did not do a fly by.  

She hovered. Right in the middle of it all. 

Not for a few seconds, but for many minutes. 

Word-filled, comfort-giving, scripture-reading, candle-lighting, Amazing Grace singing, minutes.  

She moved, a few inches this way, a few inches that way.  I'm sure, a nest waited somewhere for her, a nectar-filled feeder beckoned for her, her mate lingered somewhere.  

Yet, she had business to do. She needed to do something very important. She needed to watch over the Unity gathering, She needed to declare His glory. She received her assignment that day, and she obeyed her Creator. 

Apparently, she was witnessed by more than just myself. 

Then we become His witness, testifying of the Sweet Nectar that is life-giving.  

I believe in the supernatural works of the Lord. I believe in the Creator of Nature doing something Super. 

A hummingbird sign, a wonder, a Wonder-filled glimpse of His love. 

The song continues, "when we've been there, ten-thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days, to sing God's praise, then when we've first begun." 

I felt the presence of the Lord, for He is a Light that never burns out and a giver of peace. He manifests within nature, in a tiny hummingbird above a grieving crowd, a soaring eagle above a soldier's brave duty, a ladybug on a headstone in the dead of winter, a rainbow of promise, or in a rabble of Swallowtail butterflies guiding me on the path of His plan.  Today, this hummingbird moment comforted.  For those who made the connection, we will crave the sight again, crave the God-wonder-sign who fills our hearts with hope. 

Thank you lady hummingbird for giving us hope in such a broken, sorrow-filled world. We are grateful Lord for showing us a glimpse of Your Glory through our tears. Lord, You created us to be Your ultimate sign of wonder, to be super-natural in an un-natural world bent on blocking You from our view, snuffing out our light.  I pray for the broken-hearted from yet another senseless tragedy. May we hover close to Your desire for us and walk in a path that gives hope and healing, lighting candles in the darkness. May many hummingbirds (Your Spirit) hover for many days to come and heal the broken hearts of Isla Vista, Chino Hills, the World. Amen.  

Written in memory of Chino Hills own, Katherine Cooper and the other victims of the UCSB tragedy.
                                                                                 
                                                                                      ~~~


Blessing: WestCoast magazine published this story in their July issue.

 

Happy Ordination Day!

Psalms 139:16 "Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them."

Happy Birthday to me!  Tomorrow, the BIG 6-0!  

A well-formed,  full-figure shape, I am made with girlie substance!  I'm not quite ready for the freezer yet, nor the kiln.  God, the Potter, lovingly shapes me, this lump of clay, into His purpose.  I think He's made me into a few different vessels from time to time. Don't throw me out with the garage sale stuff. I am not ready to be labled an antiquity. I am climbing, but not quite over the hill yet!  

"In the Book, they were written...ALL the days."  Yes, God keeps a journal on me, but instead of filling the pages with my humaness, He writes the things He sees that bring Him glory. He knows the pages where I've struggled, written down the number of tears I've cried and inserted happy faces and heart doodles when His glory is captured.  It's not the word "days" I am looking at when I read this verse. Each day is a day to give Him praise and seek Him in all His goodness. In my sixty years, I have not used every day to my full potential. My share of crummy, bad attitude, "oops God, I am so sorry" days, I know fill several books, outnumber my "righteous" days.  All those days though, are torn from the book and replaced with golden insert pages, one word written by the blood of Jesus on them  Do you know what that word says?  

GRACE 

The word I like in this verse?  ..."Ordained."  I looked it up in Strong's Concordance (In the original Hebrew). It means:  formed, framed, fashioned.  

I like that this birthday girl is still "fashioned" by God.  I've got Soul-Style!  

His grace leaves a marked pattern in my life that I am "ordained" to trace onto others.  

How Vogue is that!  

My thoughts wander to many things as I turn the clock, flip the calendar, blow out the candles...

(wait, another breath please...). 

I am thinking of both my parents who passed away in their sixties.  I think of Heaven a lot anyways but this week I saw the movie, "Heaven is For Real," and my friend asked me an interesting question: 

"What age do you think Timmy is in Heaven?" 

He'll be a little bit of the cute 4 year old, the precocious 10 year old, the entertaining 15 year old, the idealist 20 year old and the passionate 26 year old. What he won't be is the fearful, pain-riddled, scarred, angry young adult.  He'll be the man God intended him to be.  

And I'll strive to do the same...be what God intended me to be, with each new candle I may add.  Oh, trust me, more pages will be torn out and more inserts added with that golden word, GRACE and for that I can only try to live out my days, surrendered and in Thanksgiving.  

And isn't that the ultimate birthday present!  

Thank you Lord for birthdays, both physical and spiritual. May each numbered day ordained for me be a sunrise to your Glory as I await a final sunset. Whatever lies ahead, teach me to continue to trust You in ALL things, and reflect and celebrate Your Amazing Grace in my life, now and forever. Amen.  

Grace's Song

Psalm 90:14-17

New Living Translation (NLT)

 ¹⁴ Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
      so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.
 ¹⁵ Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery!
      Replace the evil years with good.
 ¹⁶ Let us, your servants, see you work again;
      let our children see your glory.
 ¹⁷ And may the Lord our God show us his approval
      and make our efforts successful.
      Yes, make our efforts successful!

Five years ago, flu-ravaged and twisted up in a waiting room of ICU surrounded by True Believers, the vigil began. Minutes passed into hours and a sun rose and set several times, unaware. We waited, we visited, we prayed, we watched his breath rise with anticipation only to dwindle with despair. Grace's song opened the Heavens.

Surgeon came, took the challenge when no one would. But I knew already. Grace's song hummed the second chorus. 

Husband walked toward me, that long hallway, wretched in pain to shake his head and look to me in the eyes of my soul, trying to grab back the words...but Grace's Song rolled the stone.

The world turned dark and the earth shook and my heart and brain crashed together in a head-on collision. Fatal but not final. Grace's song swept up the debris. 

In these five years, Grace's Song surrounds me. Comfort, understanding, provision, fellowship, joy and purpose hold my thoughts and my emotions in place, capturing words of faith and love that wedge the stone away. 

Grace's song sings Resurrection. Grace's song sings Eternal Life. Grace's Song sings Hope.  

Grace's song never dies. 

Thank you Lord for every note of Grace's song and may the symphony You are conducting in my life be a sweet rhapsody of everlasting Love.